Raises

So, I'm watching the Today show yesterday morning, and apparently, everyone is up in arms about salary increases for bank employees. Now, in case you haven't figured it out, I am a bank employee. I am a menial laborer--I am not a big wig hording up big money bonuses and increases. I did not take bail out money from the government. I am not gouging customers on fees.

Why shouldn't I get a raise? If you work at McDonald's or Starbucks or JC Penney's, you're probably expecting a raise. If you work for the great state of Oklahoma or the police department or you're a fireman, probably, you're wanting a little something extra when it comes time for your annual review. And so do I. So, don't come in my office and tell me how you think it's ridiculous for any bank employees to get raises this year, because you saw it on the Today show, too, and you think it is ridiculous. I am really not interested in your opinion. And it makes me want to slap you.

Branson, Missouri

I understand that it is probably great for the people in your hotel room that you take your screaming baby outside at one o'clock in the morning so it doesn't disturb the people staying in your room. But it is not desirable to the people in the rooms that line the hallways of your hotel room. There is a reason I don't have kids. It is so I won't be woken up by them at 1 o'clock in the morning. It is also so I don't have to listen to them play "how loud can I shut this door?" five thousand times at 6 AM. Fun game, isn't it?

It's not going to be so much fun when I rip your little head off. At least not for you.