Monday, April 21, 2008

Men's eyes

I wonder if I have the same eyes as my husband. Well, not the same eyes. I know we don't share the SAME eyes. What I wonder is if the eyes are made the same. Because every week or so, I come home, and I look in the back yard, and I think, "man, the grass is already high again." But he looks at the backyard and sees nothing. Lots of times I come home and I look at the one rug we have on our hardwood floor, and it has lots of grass and dirt on it that our dog has brought in, and I think, "Lord, this rug needs to be vacuumed." He comes home, and sees nothing. Or what about dust? Sometimes someone has brushed up against the TV, and there is a smudge in the dust, so when I turn it on I think, "Ewww, there's a lot of dust on the TV." He turns it on and sees, guess what? Yep, nothing.

So, when I say, "hey, do you think you could mow the back yard or help me vacuum or maybe dust something?" He looks at me like I have lost my damned mind and says, "we just did that last week." What, you think if you clean it once it stays clean forever? It's a magic self cleaning house? If there's one on the market, can you please upgrade your job to where you make a million dollars so we can get one of those? Because otherwise dumbass, you have to clean and mow and pull weeds and wash windows on a cyclical basis. It never ends. I promise, you are never going to mow the yard and then the grass is going to miraculously stop growing. Unless, of course, you have set it on fire or it is the first freeze of the year. So, stop looking at me like I'm crazy and start using your eyes to see the shit that is accumulating everywhere while you're sitting there with your head in the fucking computer.

I love my husband, but sometimes he makes me mad.

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