Arrested Development

This was a good show. I mean, really, a good show. It was actually funny and original and interesting every single week. And it got canceled because Americans didn't watch it. They watch a bunch of stupid reality TV crap or sitcoms with a laugh track to let you know when you're supposed to laugh (because they're not funny enough to actually make you laugh). But good TV? Forget it. So, the good shows get canceled, and I get stuck with watching "Farmer Wants A Wife."

It makes me mad.

Grab and Go

Do they have Love's where you live? The one that's a gas station that usually has a Subway or an A&W in them, where truck drivers can get everything their hearts desire? We have them all over Oklahoma, and on my way through to Dallas, I always stop in Ardmore to get a mini Godfather's pizza. Godfather's is no longer open as a restaurant, so it is the only place you can get their pizza anymore. There is a sign on the warmer rack (no, they don't make it fresh), and it say "grab and go." So, if you're in a hurry, you grab your pizza and go. I look forward to it every time I drive to Dallas. I would almost say it is the highlight of my trip.

So, you can imagine my dismay when I pull up and run in to "grab and go" and there are no pizzas to grab. It's not like they're just out of pepperoni or meat lover's, they're out of everything. And I would say this is the case 50% of the time--that there are no pizzas to "grab and go." Every time I get there and there is no pizza, I want to rip down their little "grab and go" sign and throw it at someone. It really pisses me off. Clearly, it doesn't take a genius to figure out you can't "grab and go" if there's nothing to grab. And then you have to wait like 15 minutes to get a pizza. That just totally defeats the whole purpose now, doesn't it?

Birthdays

First, let me say, I am an only child. My birthday was always an huge deal growing up, with lots of cake, lots of presents, and most importantly, lots of fanfare. I grew up believing my birthday was a special day, and as an adult, I still treat it as such. I start my countdown at the beginning of May (my birthday is on the last day), and I begin the celebration a week out. Usually, I go somewhere on a trip, and I NEVER work on my birthday. EVER. Basically, it's a big deal.

So, here's what makes me mad. Anyone who knows me know this. I announce it to the world--that my birthday is coming, that I am excited, that I love birthday attention. And if people choose to not do something that is fine, but at least they know. There are some people in the world who sit idly by pretending that their birthday is not a big deal, and that is fine as well. But IT IS NOT FINE for someone to pretend it is not a big deal, and then get angry or upset when nobody makes a big deal out of it. If you want a big deal, let people know for goodness sakes!

Don't say, "I don't need anything," when someone asks you what you want, and then sulk when you don't get anything. It just isn't fair. This just doesn't make any sense.

And on that note--"It's three days until my birthday!"

The maid is fired

When I was little, I used to joke with my Mom that doing laundry was her hobby. She does laundry like you've never seen. Colors never fade, clothes never shrink, everything comes out looking as if I had it taken to the dry cleaner. Unfortunately, I did not inherit this gene. I did, however, learn the basics of doing laundry. Meaning I separate the items out. I do the dark colors with the dark colors. I do the whites with the whites. I put like fabrics together. I even change the setting on the washing machine from Permanent Press or Cotton to Delicates when I wash my "under things."

Whenever I dump out my hamper and start sorting my clothes all over the floor and I yell at my husband, "do you have any white stuff that needs to be washed?" He looks at me like I'm insane (you'd think by now, after he's seen me do this nine hundred times he would stop), and he says, "I just put all my stuff in together. Why do you sort yours out?" And for the nine hundredth time I tell him sorting laundry is important. It keeps the colors from fading, and even more importantly, it keeps the colors from running.

So, today, I am putting in my clothes after returning from camping, and I ask, "do you have any clothes to put in the washing machine?" And I stick my stuff in and he sticks his stuff in and long story short, all of our stuff comes out blue. Why? Because dillhole stuck a blue hoodie that had never been washed in with all of our clothes. That's what I get for letting him be in charge. Learned my lesson.

Do you think next time, when I'm sorting, he'll ask me why I don't just wash it all together? I bet you five whole dollars that he does.

Panty Hose

I will wear a good pair of tights. I put dark ones on in the winter with cute boots, and they keep me warm, and I love them. I can throw them in the washing machine, and wear them a good ten or twelve times and they are still in great condition. I love thick ones and patterned ones and bright colored ones.

But what I hate are panty hose. I cannot stress enough how strongly I feel the word hate deep down in my soul every time I think about these hideous things. They are uncomfortable, they are ugly, and worst of all, you can probably wear the pair one time before you get a run in them and then have to throw them away.

Men complain about ties, about how they are uncomfortable and hot. How about having to put a tight pair of nylon made crotch huggers on and wearing them around in 105 degree heat? You think your neck is hot, let's talk about how great you'd feel with your crotch all hot and sweaty. And at least if you pay $40 for a tie, you can wear it until the end of all time. I pay $4 for a pair of hose I get to wear once before I have to throw them in the trash. Talk about a waste of money.

And did I mention they are UGLY? If they looked really great, I could maybe understand. But they are hideous looking, and people make all kinds of fashion blunders with them. Black hose with white shoes. Toe seamed hose with open toed shoes. Hose with sandals. They are just something else to confuse the fashionably inept.

They should be removed from all shelves and burned. Just my opinion.

Hand Eye Coordination

I have horrible hand eye coordination, and on top of that horribly slow reflexes. (Do those go hand in hand?) I am one of those people, who when you raise your hand up like you are going to play slap me, and thirty seconds later I react.

Usually, in my adult life, being that I play no intramural sports, it does not affect me.

Only recently, my husband and I have added to our library of Wii games. Last night, I thought, "hey, why not try some of these out?" I never, and I mean NEVER play video games. It is usually because of my aforementioned affliction. My husband, on the other hand, being the nerd he is, grew up on computer and video games. It is one of the few times I think he is a genius--when I see him in action with the Wii controller.

Now, I don't know if everyone is familiar with the Wii controller, but it is much more difficult to use than your average controller. You hold it in/with one hand, not two, and then there is another part you hold in your other hand. So, (in case you're not getting it), you actually are manning TWO controllers--both which have buttons. You use ALL of the buttons to make your man shoot, run, walk, stab people with a knife, etc. I'm trying to play Resident Evil 4, and apparently it is so funny, that my husband decides to get out the video camera while I try to shoot zombies and say the F word five hundred times. That'll be one to save and show to the kids!

I die quickly, and while it is painless, the obvious deflation of my pride is not.

Of course, when it's his turn, he hits every single zombie right in the head, clears them with one shot, and doesn't even break a sweat, much less utter a foul four digit word.

And that, my good friends, is why I NEVER play video games.

Rain

How is it it's always bright and sunny on the days when I'm hard at work, slaving away for "the man," and then, on the weekend I'm supposed to go camping a big storm is due in. The little picture shows lightning and everything! Yes, it does...it makes me mad.