Fortune Cookie

It makes me mad when you go to have chinese food and you open your fortune cookie (the best part of the meal), and the little slip of paper inside does not reveal a fortune but instead a saying. There's a reason the cookie is called a "fortune cookie", right? If I wanted to read a saying I would look for a "saying cookie."

Dog Days

It makes me mad when we let our dog in the house and he runs around like a crazy person and then runs up to Ricky, my fiancee, and jumps up on him and accidentally paws him in his junk. Wait, no it doesn't. That actually makes me laugh really hard.

movie watching

It makes me mad when I'm watching a good movie--one I really like--and I just can't manage to stay awake to see the end of it. Especially when it is only 9:23 PM. Somewhere in the last year, I got old.

RSVP

It makes me mad when you have a party and an invitation says "RSVP" or "Regrets only" and people do not contact the party thrower and let them know whether or not they are coming. If I was nice enough to fill out a freaking invitation to send over to you, can't you take two minutes out of the day to let me know whether or not you are going to be able to make it? Hell, send me a text message or an e-mail or just write "Return to Sender" on the envelope and mail it back to me. At least that way I'll know how much food/liquor/party hats to buy without having to spend two days calling around to find out who all is coming to the party. I'm planning a shin dig here, people! I don't have time to get the invitations out and then call each of you personally to see whether or not you can make it. If I had time for that, I would have called everyone in the first place instead of sending out invites.

So, please check your stupid invitations and if there is an RSVP, give the soiree planner a call. You'll feel better about yourself in the morning.

Windy days

It makes me mad when I spend an hour getting my hair fixed into a lovely updo for a bridal shower only to have the wind hit it at gale force and rip it down as soon as I walk out to my car.

late moviegoers

It makes me mad that I make sure I show up at the movie theater at least 30 minutes before the movie starts so I can get my ticket, have plenty of time to get some popcorn, and still make sure I get a good seat. Well, that part doesn't make me mad so much as the part when some asshole walks in ten minutes late and expects me and my date to move down a seat so he and his date can sit next to each other.

I want to tell him no. I want to tell him next time, he should think about that before he walks into a new release movie on a Saturday night ten minutes after the start time. Too bad, so sad BUDDY! Looks like you and your date are going to have to sit in separate seats because your lack of planning is not my emergent situation. I got here ON TIME so I could choose a seat and not have to sit on top of Joe Schmoe who is now going to be right next to me sharing my arm rest and cup holder because you waited until the last minute to get here.

Of course, I don't ever say that. At least not out loud. But I do give him the evil eye through the entire movie and hog the arm rest.

Morning time

It makes me mad when I have a vacation day and I wake up at 8:05 AM and cannot go back to sleep. What's a vacation day if you can't sleep in?

Coffee lids

It makes me mad when I'm an idiot and I don't put the lid on my 7 Eleven french vanilla cappucinno cup. And then when I'm an even bigger idiot and I do not notice that the lid is not securely in place and I go to take a drink and ruin my beige and cream houndstooth vintage coat. All because the liquid did not come out of the little hole in the top of the cup. It unfortunately, and much to my surprise, poured out of the slit on the side. As if that were not enough, I did not notice the first time I took a drink and took another one. By the time I took the second drink I thought, "it seems like this cup is pretty light. I only took one drink." Then I look down and there is coffee all over me, my coat, my car seat, and no napkins in sight.

At least tomorrow morning, my car will smell like yummy french vanilla cappucinno.

Slot machines

You're probably thinking I am going to talk about how slot machines stole all my money and how they make me mad, right? WRONG!

My big complaint here is that the blasted things don't give coins back as winnings anymore. Oh, how I miss the days when you won $20 on a quarter machine and all the change came pouring out of the bottom. The clinks and clanks of each coin hitting the metal tray was the best sound in the world! When I walked into a casino I could tell right away if people were winning or not, because I could actually HEAR it. And believe it or not, I miss putting those coins in one at a time. It slowed me down. I lost less money. And I got "black fingers" and had to use those little towelette thingies to wipe the dirty money mess off my hands. In the picture in my head of Las Vegas, I walk into a noisy casino every single time--sometimes it's people at the Craps table winning or people hitting 21 at black jack, but most of the noise in my picture is from the slot machines.

Now, all I do is put in my cash and when I'm done, if the machine hasn't sucked up all my money, all I get back is a stupid piece of paper. Then, half the time, I cannot get the next machine to eat the piece of paper, which I still don't understand, because they are usually all so happy to take my money. Casinos are much quieter, with the exception of the 60 year old lady with the teased hair and cigarette next to you chatting you up. It just doesn't feel like the same Vegas anymore.

Bring back the coin machines! I want to walk around with a bucket of quarters going from machine to machine dropping a few in each as I walk by, hoping to win a big jackpot off 75 cents. Or losing all of my money a few pulls at a time. I want to look in the trays to see if someone accidentally left a nickel or quarter or dime, because the silver coin in the silver tray is sometimes easy to miss. Oftentimes, this was the only money I would "win." Nobody forgets to get their paper cash out ticket. I want to be able to reach into my husband's bucket of coins and take some out when my bucket is getting empty. Once again, a no go with a cash ticket.

Ugh! Did I mention I want the coin machines back?

do you know basic english?

One question I never have a hard time answering is, "what's your pet peeve?"

Thank you so much for asking. That's easy. It's people who do not know the difference between your and you're. One is a personal pronoun. One is a contraction used to mean you are. It is not that hard.

But wait, there's more. It's even better when some idiot who is high up in your company sends out mass e-mails trying to stress an important point, and appears to not even have a basic grasp of the english language. How is it possible you got to be CEO of an entire company, and you can't tell the difference between the two--your/you're? Nothing lights up my day like being chewed via e-mail for not following a policy by someone who isn't even smart enough to use the grammar or spelling check before sending their e-mail.

Does this annoy the hell out of anyone other than me?

What this blog is about...

I've wanted to do one of these for a long time, but I couldn't come up with anything I thought I could write about every day. I swear I have mild ADD, and am horrible at sticking with anything. But my very best friend pointed something out to me a few weeks ago, and like being struck by lightening I realized it was something I could go on and on about endlessly. So, I'm committing to writing every day, in sickness and in health, only maybe not while I'm on vacation.

What is it, you ask? Well, it's about what makes me mad. I probably say, out loud no less, at least three times a day, "that makes me mad." Sometimes, "that makes me REALLY mad," or, "that really pisses me off," but at least some variation, three times a day. Now you're probably thinking I must be a really angry person. And I want to assure you I'm not. Sure, I get really worked up about some things--poverty, injustice, George Bush. But the things I'm talking about here are the little every day things that just get on your nerves. Mostly it's stupid people. Or the stupid things stupid people do. You know, those things that don't necessarily eat at you and keep you from sleeping, but they make enough of a dent in your day to make you want to slap somebody. Those things where you just think, "you idiot" and then turn to the person sitting next to you, make a "you idiot" face and say, "what the fuck did that idiot just say?"

Don't feel sorry for me or worry about my mental health. I have low blood pressure and while some may think I'm a few sandwiches shy of a picnic, I assure you, I'm mentally stable enough to hold down a 50 hour a week job in a sober state of mind. I work out four times a week and my favorite place in the entire world is Walt Disney World. If you met me, you would find me happy most of the time (people who are happy all of the time are on some kind of narcotics or living with their head buried in the sand).

So, please, check back each day for a dose of what makes me mad. I bet there'll be some things where you're nodding your head in agreement. And if you're one of the people who make me mad or do the things that make me mad, have a sense of humor for goodness sake! One man's trash is another man's treasure! You say tomato, I say tomato--wait that doesn't seem the same when it's in writing. Either way, you get the picture.

Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: If you are stupid, easily offended,a Republican leaning to the right in the extreme, or someone who doesn't like the F word, this blog might not be the one for you.