Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Hey buddy. Yes, you. I'm talking to you. The one over there standing around looking like you are the only jackass waiting who should be allowed to bring your luggage on the plane. You know how I know that? How I can see your sense of entitlement? Because your bag is about three times the size of a carry on bag. It's more like a regular suitcase. It's making me wonder what your regular suitcase must look like if you think that bag that you have there is a carry on. Did you put it in that little square metal space? You know, the one that has the sign that says all carry on luggage must fit in here? Because I know there is no way in hell that bag you have fit in that space.

Oh, now look. Are you having problems getting that big ass bag into the overhead bin? Well, sure, I don't mind taking my bag down and sticking it under my seat just to accommodate your being a retard. I think it's absolutely fair that I paid just as much for my ticket as you did, but I have to rearrange my stuff because you think you're the King of World or at least of American Airlines. These next 2.5 hours will be nice and comfortable while I sit with my knees under my chin because I have no foot room since I had to cram my own regulatory size bag so you could have every single thing you own on the plane with you.

No, your smile and apology do not make it better. Neither does the obliviousness of the flight attendants who are pretending not to notice that you have taken advantage of the flight requirements and they are now having to check luggage that will not fit in the overhead bins, because you, and other assholes like you have brought a bunch of shit on the plane that shouldn't be allowed in the first place. But they have to smile and be courteous. And so it goes.

I hate you. No, really, I know it's a strong word. But it's true. I hate you and all of the people like you--the ones who think the rules don't apply to them. You suck.

No comments: