Wednesday, January 27, 2010


You know what? If you want someone to make a big deal out of your birthday, don't pretend to be one of those people who doesn't care. Because when someone (say me) says, "hey, isn't your birthday next week?" And you sigh and say, "Yeah." And I say, "What are you going to do?" And you say, "Ah, nothing. It's not really that big of a deal." Then I'm going to assume you aren't a big celebrator. Maybe I'll buy you a cupcake or a piece of cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory, but that's going to be it. I'm assuming you're one of those folks who just doesn't like a big "to do."

So, when your birthday rolls around, don't act like a big ol' asshole because nobody has done anything, sitting around pouting and sulking because there aren't streamers around your desk, and all of your friends aren't taking you out to dinner while donning party hats. They're probably all assuming the same thing. That you are depressed to be turning a year older and don't want to celebrate because of your ho-hum attitude any time your birthday is mentioned. Your ploy of acting like you want nothing and expecting a big hoopla is stupid. If I could think of a more eloquent word I would use it. But I cannot.

But you know what? Your dumb ass will probably do the same thing again next year. Let me know how it works out for you.

*side note* Apparently, this pisses me off every year, because I just glanced back at my 2008 posts, and I already wrote one of these there. Take note people!

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