Monday, January 18, 2010

Pat Robertson

Sometimes, I am embarrassed to be a Christian. I know some Christians out in the world would be horrified that I would say that, but how can I, as a Christian listen to what Pat Robertson has to say and not be outraged? How can anyone? I know they are out there. People who think what he says is right. But how can my God and his God be one and the same? It is hard for me to imagine. I found something on the internet that sums up the ridiculousness of what he has to say. Kudos to Lily Coyle, who wrote this funny letter. It was the letter of the day on Please, please, please, don't lump all Christians in with Pat Robertson. I am sure I speak for quite a few of us who would say, he makes us mad! And he's an idiot!

"Dear Pat Robertson, I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll. You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract. Best, Satan


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