NUTS!

Why is it nuts are so expensive? Are they really hard to harvest or something? I'm not asking in a smart ass way, I'm honestly curious. I'm not talking about peanuts, but the good nuts--cashews, pistachios, almonds. We were at the grocery store last night--not a fancy earthy health type one, but a regular old Homeland--and there was a bag of pistacios calling my name. Only it was like 50 pistachios for around $5.00. That's 10 cents a nut (yes, folks, in addition to my many other talents, I can do math)! It made me mad. I really wanted those pistachios. But I'll be damned if I was going to pay 10 cents per nut for a bag.

appetizer

I order an appetizer to appease my appetite while I'm waiting on my entree. I do not usually order an appetizer unless I am starving and cannot fathom having to wait until my actual meal arrives. So, it really makes me mad when the waiter/waitress brings my appetizer at the same time they bring my entree. Why in the hell would I order an appetizer if I wanted it with my entree? Why would I say, "to start out with, we'd like the ___." What is it they think I mean exactly? If I was ordering it with my meal, I'd be ordering it as a side dish, not as an appetizer. And then, they look at me like I'm crazy when they bring it out with my meal and I no longer want it. I wanted it as an appetizer! Now that my actual meal is here, I'm not interested in the "pre-meal" anymore. Sheesh, people...

the end

I think I've mentioned somewhere that I love horror movies. I love the good ones, but I'm a rare breed--I like the bad ones, too. But what I don't like, what makes me mad, is when I'm watching one that is really good...you know one that actually makes you feel afraid, like you might have a nightmare or feel scared when you go into your dark and empty house that night by yourself...one of those ones, and then the ending is really stupid. And it just ruins the whole entire movie. Because I'll be sitting there watching that movie, thinking in my head, "wow, this one is really good," (because believe me, a good horror movie is a true rarity), and then at the end, I'll wind up thinking, "what the hell was that?" Just like that. In five minutes, that perfect horror movie is ruined by some idiot who couldn't write an ending. It really pisses me off.

pedicure

It makes me mad when you get your toenails done, and they look all nice and ready for summer (even when it is not summer) painted a color with a fun name like Tango or Ruby Slippers or something like that, and then, the next day, you ram your toe on something and it chips the polish. $30 down the drain. Just like that.

Oscar

I am not a movie snob. I admit to watching multiple B grade horror movies on a Friday night. I love a romantic comedy. I'll watch an Indie or two, every once in awhile. The point here is I watch movies, all kinds of movies, but I watch them to be entertained. As long as I'm watching something that keeps my attention (which trust me, is hard), I don't care what it is.

I oftentimes think movie snobs like art for arts sake. They annoy me. They are pretentious. They do not appreciate movies--just certain types of movies. They are a lot like book snobs (which I am sure I will post about another day). They look down on people who watch movies in regular theaters--you know, those theaters that do not show ONLY independent films. I cannot stand these people.

But I digress. My main point here is that the Oscar contenders for best picture make me mad every year. One out of five, maybe in a good year two, are worth watching. Some of them are great because the acting is great. And some of them are great because they are an in depth character study. But some of them are horrible. They are long winded, have no point, and evoke zero emotion. I do not understand how they are nominated. I actually have to suffer through some of these films just to be able to say I've educated myself on all Oscar contenders prior to making my own "winner" selection. I cannot possibly imagine how any one person, much less a group of people got together, sat down, and thought, "man, I know that movie just sucked away two hours of my life, and wasn't even mildly interesting, but it's long, it's a period piece, nothing really happens in the whole movie, and it has some good acting in it. Definitely, this one should be up for best picture."

And for this crap hole list of movies I have to watch every year to maybe find one that I think is worthy of such a prestigious award? I blame the damned movie snobs. Those people who watch the movie and say it's good, because they think they're supposed to like it. They don't want to tell their other movie snob friends that they didn't like the best picture contenders. Because they might be shunned. They might be shunned by their other snobby movie friends. And then what? Their movie opinion would have no clout, and they would be forced to go to AMC or Lowe's to watch the "common" movies with the rest of us.

Once there they might discover the true value of entertainment. Maybe the cinematic pleasures of Transformers and The Bourne Ultimatum would not be lost on them. Maybe they would see the value of a blockbuster movie and what it had to offer. And *alakazam!* no more movie snob.

One can hope...

fishing season

It's getting close to being about that time. Another month and it will be officially fishing season. At least my fishing season. Not too hot, not too cold, just perfect 75 degree weather, and it's time to go.

But here's what makes me mad. Every season I head out to Bass Pro and get myself restocked on all necessary tackle. New weights, hooks, a hula popper or two, and I'm ready to go. Only always, ALWAYS, some sexist asshole sees me in there with my soon to be husband (who knows ZERO about fishing), and asks him if he's teaching the "little lady how to fish." Excuse me dumbass, but did it ever occur to you that since I am the one HOLDING all of the equipment and picking it out that I might be the one who actually knows about fishing?

I know, it's a concept. A lady who knows how to fish.

valentine's day

I could post a whole rant about the commercialization of holidays and how Valentine's Day was created by the Hallmarks of the world to sell cards, gifts, make money, whatever. But really, I don't care. The only thing that makes me mad on Valentine's Day is the price of flowers. What I want to know is this...how is it that ever other freaking day of the year I can buy a dozen roses for $19.99 at any flower shop, but on Valentine's Day those same roses cost me $99.99? I know, I know--supply and demand. But come on, really? That's like a four hundred percent mark up. Florists are taking advantage of guys who lack the imagination to do something other than buy flowers on Valentine's Day. They are gouging the poor saps who are just trying to win the heart of some lovely lady. It really is pathetic. What would happen if one Valentine's Day everyone just stopped buying flowers? If the demand went down, would the price also go down? Maybe next year Americans should band together and have a "flower out." Just a thought.

Give me a $9.99 Russell Stover's box of candy any day. Sit me down in front of a good crime show with my chocolates and a Diet Coke, and let's call it a day.

cake

Cake makes me mad. It always looks me right in the eye and taunts me. And then I eat it, and then I feel guilty. Cake is ugly that way.

the horror! the horror!

Wearing pantyhose makes me mad. There is no long diatribe for me to go into that would supply evidence for the horror of what it is like to wear these awful things. And what's even worse is that you have to pay for them, they aren't cheap, and you get to wear them MAYBE one whole day befoe they get a run or a hole in them. It's like throwing $5 out your car window every day. Long live pants!

training days

Everyone has had a new job. Well, probably most everyone, unless you got married right out of high school, had three babies, and are a stay at home mom. WHICH, I completely agree is a job in and of itself (one I do not wish to apply for), but not the same thing as starting a new job at a company. One where someone is supposed to train you to actually do that job.

Only come to find out, as my tenure in the work force of America continues to lengthen, the possibility you'll actually get effective training at a new job is highly unlikely. More often than not, someone takes 30 minutes (which is actually an 8 hour day, but that 8 hours is only comprised of about 30 minutes of useful information) to teach you what you need to know, and then leaves you on your own.

Now, that's fine with me. I'm all about taking initiative--buckling down to find answers yourself and be successful. What's not fine with me...what makes me mad...is when someone then calls you and chews your ass about something you were never told or trained to do in the first place.

Most of my jobs have been in management. And I like to think I'm good at what I do. I work hard to motivate people, and when they have shortcomings, I work hard to help them overcome them. If there is no possible way to get them to do their job, I work hard to help them find another home where they might be successful and happy (translation: fire them). I have learned that you get out of people what you put into them. I cannot rightfully expect someone to do something I have neither told nor trained them to do.

So, why is it I wind up with bosses who are older than me, have more experience than me, and are touted as being some of the best managers in the company, who also yell at me when shit doesn't get done that they've never told me to do? I don't remember reading anywhere in the job qualifications that I had to be a mind reader. Did I miss that part?

I have worked at my current job for nine months, and never once has someone set down with me and laid out a path for my success. Everything I have achieved has been through my own investigations--reading manuals, taking computer based training, calling my peers. Some of it has been learned through mistakes with customers or forms filled out incorrectly. And some of it has been through a good ass chewing when I've neglected to do something I was unaware was required.

I am prepared for this lack of training each time I start a new job. But in the back of my head I'm always thinking that there has to be a better way. Maybe I should give up my current job and start giving seminars on training people on how to train.

ebay

I list stuff on e-bay to make extra money in desperate times. Okay, not really desperate times, but times when I want to go out and buy myself a new expensive handbag or pair of shoes. Neither here nor there, the point is that I list stuff on e-bay. Some ebay shoppers are really annoying. Lots of them are, actually. They ask crazy questions. They bid on crap and then tell you they can't pay for it for a month. They win stuff and then claim it was an "accident" and expect to not have to pay for the item and you to eat the selling cost and final value fee and not give negative feedback. I could probably write an entire blog titled makes-me-mad-ebay.blogspot.com.

But here's what really makes me mad. It's when I list something and nobody bids on it, and then, AFTER it closes, somebody sends me an e-mail and asks, "are you going to relist X? If you do, can you let me know?" I want to ask them why, if they wanted X, they didn't bid on it the first time. It's not like I have all the time in the world to list and relist and relist and a bottomless pocketbook that allows me to pay to relist the crap two and three times. So, usually, I just don't reply. And I send the item to Goodwill.

judgmental christians

Let me first start by saying that I am a Christian. I was raised Southern Baptist and grew up going to church. I believe in God, I've read the Bible, and believe people sin. I am not here to get into a political debate over this with anyone reading it. I have my beliefs, and you have your beliefs, and so it goes on and on like that. Fine by me.

Let me also say that being a Christian, I do not believe I get to decide who goes to hell and who does not. I do not get to decide what your relationship is with the Lord. It is not my job to push my beliefs down your throat to get you to convert to my way of thinking. I believe all sins are the same, just as the Bible says they are. I believe if I am sleeping with my boyfriend out of wedlock, then that is the same thing as someone who is gay sleeping with their boyfriend out of wedlock. Do I think I am going to hell for that? I don't know, but here's hoping I'm not!

I cannot stand people who judge and condemn other people and then call themselves Christians. I don't know what they were taught in church, but I was taught that God loved ALL of his children. And that included the gay ones, the black ones, even the ones who didn't love him. Now I'm not saying I love everyone, because as you can tell from this blog, that simply isn't true. But I don't look at someone and based on the fact that they're different from me decide they are going to hell.

So, it makes me mad, infuriates me even to see someone respond to people in that way and then call themselves a Christian. It gives people like me a bad name. When someone who is not Christian finds out I am, they automatically look at me like I'm going to try to shove Jesus down their throat and tell them that how they're living their life is going to get them a ticket straight to hell.

I've always looked at it this way...let's say a person is a Jehovah's Witness. I'll bet you $10 they think what they believe is the right way, and that I'm going to hell (or whatever their version of hell may be). I'm not going to be able to convert them to Christianity and they surely aren't going to convert me to being a Jehovah's witness. So, I prefer they don't come knocking on my door in the middle of the day trying to sell their version of spiritualism to me. So, I try really hard to not do that to other people, either.

I think the world would be a much better place if people spent time working on themselves and their relationship with God instead of pointing their finger at others in a disapproving way.

And at the very least, could you people please shut the hell up with your judgemental views and attaching them to your Christian beliefs? You're killing me over here!

dance dance revolution

I like to go dancing. I like to get several of my lady friends, even a fellow friend or two, and go out and dance. I grew up dancing, and even now, at the ripe old age of 32, I still like to break it down every once in awhile.

But no matter where you go, you always run the risk of being assaulted by some drunk guy who wants to come up behind you and attempt the most stellar of dance moves called "rub my groin area on _____(you can fill in the blank here with butt or leg or whatever). Now I realize that there are some girls out there who are attracted to this sort of fellah. When a guy approaches them in this manner, it really gets their juices flowing. They are used to this sort of pick up line, and they proceed to turn around and in a similar drunken manner rub their groin on the guy's leg, groin, whatever.

However, I assure you, I do not look like one of those girls. No matter how thick his beer goggles are, there is no way any one man would look at me and think, "now there's a girl who wants me to dance up on her." I dance by myself. I take up a lot of room. I do spins and clap my hands and I wave them in the air in true "adult raver" type fashion. There is absolutely nothing about my dancing style that would cause someone to think I would want to do the "dirty dance move" with them.

But even so, I still get those guys who come up and not saying a word, grab me from behind and start pushing their penis/balls into my back. I will never understand it. When did it become okay to not even ask a girl if she would like to dance? When did it become okay to just assume you are the hottest guy at the club and every girl there would like to feel your member pushed up on her? I must have fallen out of the loop somewhere.

It makes me mad that I can't even go out and have a good time dancing without having some asshole trying to rub his penis on me from behind.

keeping up

It makes me mad that I fully intended to write something new every day for 365 days and I made it only 11 days before I fell off the wagon. My level of commitment is embarrassing.